The promise of meaning

After over a week of quasi-vacation tomorrow it will be time to head back to my real life (or at least the summer version of real life). It will mean being apart from my honey again, which doesn’t make me feel great. I have to wonder if that prospect had something to do with my achy belly this afternoon.

I surrendered to the discomfort this afternoon and slept for over an hour. As I was falling asleep I prayed “God, please let me learn something from this”.

I don’t believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t believe God put obstacles in our way to teach us. But I do believe God allows us to learn and grow from every situation no matter how trying. I am hooked on meaning-making, and sometimes finding the meaning in a trial is the only thing that keeps me going.

So that’s my prayer today. God, make me open to wisdom and knowledge, and reveal enough to me to sustain me. It well may be that the promise of meaning is the only thing I couldn’t live with out. And if it suits you to cloud my eyes to your goodness, help me to surrender to not knowing, to not learning, and to living in some comfort with undiscernable meaning.

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